Holiday Listening: Your Attention Is The Greatest Gift

By Lou Solomon

This Holiday, Will Friends and Relatives Enjoy Being with You?

[Hint: The Answer Lies with Your Ears]

When you listen to a family member, friend, or colleague, are you typically committed to being right there, in the moment?

Or do you listen while thinking about your reply, waiting for your turn to talk? Are you focused on understanding or just being nice? Do you judge the speaker and their credibility? Are you listening to people differently based on who they are? Do your eyes start to drift toward your phone screen mid-conversation?

The art of listening is one of the greatest tools you have as a communicator to foster meaningful connections with those around you — whether in the workplace or your personal life. When you actively listen, you actively show that you care.

The most treasured gift you can give this holiday season is giving your time and attention to the people you love

Take Our One-Minute Listening Quiz

Instructions: Take one minute of your time to take the Interact Studio Listening Quiz. Please select the response that most accurately reflects your listening habits for each statement. Be candid–it’s just for you. There’s no score, just your satisfaction or dissatisfaction with your answers.

Do your friends, family, and work associates tell you you’re a good listener?

Do you generally enjoy listening to other people talk?

Do you generally try to give your attention—nodding and giving encouragement?

Do you ask your friends, family, and work associates what they think?

Do you try to listen even if you do not like the person's style of talking?

Do you listen equally to whether the person talking is a man or a woman?

Do you listen equally to whether the person talking is younger than you?

Do you listen equally to whether the person talking is older than you?

Do you listen equally to whether the person talking is higher in position and title?

Do you listen equally to whether the person talking is lower in position and title?

Do you find the differences between people interesting? Are you curious about them?

Do you show the speaker respect in meetings and seminars by giving them your attention?

Do you put your cell phone away to listen to friends, family, and work associates?

Do you generally let the other person finish a thought before you speak?

Do you generally withhold judgment until the person has finished speaking?

Are you satisfied with your answers? Read on for our tried and true advice for improving your listening skills. Remember, there is always room to improve!

7 Ways to Become a Better Listener

1. Be Present, Not Just Polite.

Listening isn’t just about being courteous; it’s about being truly present. Engage your full attention – mind, body, and spirit. Be mindful of your body language and energy, and approach the conversation with genuine curiosity. These steps will help you learn, contribute meaningfully, and forge a real connection.

2. Ask Engaging Questions.

Thought-provoking questions deepen the conversation and demonstrate your interest. A well-placed question is a compliment, showing you value the speaker’s perspective and creating space for trust and understanding.

3. Resist the Interruption.

One of the most challenging listening skills is learning to wait your turn. Avoid “clipping” the speaker’s sentences. Give them the space to express themselves fully. People can tell when you’re listening or just waiting to jump in with your reply.

4. Practice Makes Perfect.

Like any skill, listening takes practice. Make a conscious effort to cultivate this ability. Clear your mind of distractions, both internal and external. If you can’t entirely focus, be honest and postpone the conversation.

5. Suspend Judgment.

Listen with an open mind. Avoid jumping to conclusions or interpretations. If you are making judgments, acknowledge them and gently push them aside. If you lose track of the conversation, apologize and ask for clarification.

6. Guide, Don’t Dictate.

Instead of offering quick advice or imposing solutions, help the speaker discover their answers. Ask open-ended questions that empower them to explore different perspectives and possibilities. For example, instead of saying, “You should do X,” try, “What do you think would happen if you tried X?”

7. Quiet the Internal Chatter.

In today’s busy world, getting caught up in our thoughts and agendas is easy. But to truly listen, we need to quiet that internal chatter and be fully present for the other person. Being present gives space for a genuine connection and mutual understanding.

Closing Thoughts: Listening is the Gift That Keeps on Giving

Don’t let your listening habits prevent meaningful relationships with friends, family, and work associates. By cultivating strong listening skills, we create meaningful moments that spark new ideas, foster collaboration, and enrich the lives of those around us. Listening is the key to connection, so be sure to give your attention all year round!

Contact Interact Studio today to transform your communication skills and have a greater influence and connection with the people in your life.

“The positive effects of a human moment can last long after the people involved have said goodbye and walked away.” – Dr. Ned Hallowell

Thanks for visiting Interact Studio!

For tips on building trust and influence, and showing up as your best
authentic self--virtually or in-person--join our mailing list

Image